Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
