I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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