I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
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