Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
