The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
