He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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