I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
