Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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