I forgot how hot balto sounded
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
