I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize