Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Can I color on your dick again?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize