Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
