That's when you crack a 10am beer
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
