Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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