pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
