it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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