what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
