I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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