your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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