Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize