The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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