sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Randomize
