ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
