I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Randomize
