you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
