i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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