i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
