There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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