If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
