bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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