just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
