Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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