I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
