It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
