Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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