Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
