so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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