How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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