i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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