Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
she smelled like a LAN party
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
That accounts for only three of the penises
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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