I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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