i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
