why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
