My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize