OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
