I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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