I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
