marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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