She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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