Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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