It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
