apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize