i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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