she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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