What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
