when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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