My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize