If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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