White coat. Heels.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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