I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize