So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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