He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
