If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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