operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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