the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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