I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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