why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
