Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize