it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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