The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
