Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize