i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
