I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
tell me about the eggs
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
