I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
