the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
