so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize
