toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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